In year one there were, of course, a lot of “firsts” that had to be navigated and braved. But they do continue–fewer now but still there and still a painful reminder that this going forward step by step and change after change is my life. Today I went to a matinee movie by myself. It was a drizzly Sunday afternoon with back-to-school coolness in the air and overcast skies. A movie I had wanted to see was playing at the local theater. I had thought I would perhaps see it with friends but one thing I am learning in year two is that friends–well-meaning as they are–have turned back to what is routine for them and that does not mean having me front of mind when it comes to social outings. When I recognized that pretty much everyone I might have wanted to see the film with had already been there and done that I had some choices. I could wait for it to come out on Netflix; I could seek out some less likely candidates to see it with me; or I could go by myself.

I wanted to see this movie so ruled out #1; I have grown tired of making the first moves to include myself in the activities that L and I used to take for granted as a couple so that ruled out #2. #3 was left and seemed to be the logical choice since I have had a gift card for the theater sitting on the kitchen table for several months. So I went–totally enjoyed the film, laughed out loud and left knowing not only could I do this but that I would do this more often.

The journey continues…


6 thoughts on “ANOTHER FIRST…

  1. I did a google search for “new beginnings” and came across your blog finding so much I can relate to. As you said it is amazing how similar our journeys are and yet each is unique in its own special way. I find I need some connection with others that are having the same journey. Reading your blog has been helpful to me.

  2. How very familiar this is to me. I went to an early movie alone and thoroughly enjoyed it. What I’m finding is I am beginning to enjoy and at times prefer going places alone. I realize this has been my goal from the start – to try and enjoy life as an independent woman. It is very difficult but the rewards in terms of reshaping my identity are great. Donna

    1. Thanks, Donna. Validation from folks like you makes my life easier!! And I agree that I am starting to enjoy the alone times because frankly I am never truly alone–L is usually right there. Take care. Anna

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