And so I have made it through the holidays–quite peacefully actually. I feel L’s presence with me in almost everything I do and over the last week or so have only really had one slip/breakdown. As I sat here last night quietly bringing in the New Year it occurred to me that true to my nature I have unknowingly created a kind of checklist of things I need to take care of before I can focus on my own future. Let me be perfectly clear here–NO ONE has inferred that I need to do these things–they are strictly self-inflicted. But they are part of the path I feel I need to follow to lead me to my new future.
What’s on the checklist?
Little stuff–perhaps even stupid stuff like organizing not only my studio and condo back in Wisconsin but also this place that I rent here in Florida–this morning was spent reorganizing where the beach toys/chairs, etc. are stored to make them more accessible to those who stay here.
Must-do stuff like preparing the tax info for the accountant and praying I get it right!!
Good-for-me-in-spite-of-myself stuff like joining an exercise program that REQUIRES me to show up and do the work.
Friendship-stuff like making sure I travel to visit everyone here in Florida since for the last few years they always had to make the trip here to see us.
Get-it-done stuff like writing the books on my schedule.
Plan-ahead stuff like figuring out my schedule for the next several months.
Nothing huge–just normal life and I do get it that the list will likely continue to grow and will never truly be done. But the good news is that on this first day of 2013 I do feel as if I am moving forward–not that I don’t have my sad/bad/furious-at-the-unfairness-of-it-all times. But if L: taught me anything it was that this is the moment (not the hour or day–but the MOMENT) we get so use it well or lose it forever.
And in this moment it is a gloriously sunny warm day outside and I will not lose it…Happy New Year!!