I am starting to prepare for winter in Florida–it was a promise I made to L.that I would back–at least for one more season. Actually my feelings about Florida are mixed (as selfish as that may sound to those facing winter winds, ice and snow!). We started going to Florida eight years ago and it did not take long that first season for me to face two hard realities: 1) L’s health was deteriorating and the best we could hope for was to cling to status quo for as long as possible–there would be no chance for improvement; and 2) going to Florida meant we were done traveling–even for brief weekend getaways close to home. So I am not at all certain how I will feel about being there now. Of course, I understand that I am free to come and go as I please and I am grateful for the wonderful network of friends and family down there. But it’s going to be a new chapter–a new adjustment and I am so very tired of facing new challenges that test my coping skills now that L is gone.
On a more positive front, I stumbled across a wonderful memoir the other day. GRIEVING: A LOVE STORY is Ruth Coughlin’s account of her journey through widowhood. A couple of quotes from the fly leaf illustrate how spot on her observations are:
- “No one can tell you about grief, about its limitless boundaries, its unfathomable depths….No one can tell you about the crater that is created…the one that nothing can fill.”
- “There’s no right or wrong to widowhood; nobody’s written the rules….You make them up as you go along.”
Like I said: Spot on!!!