11/1/2012: Another Chapter…

I am starting to prepare for winter in Florida–it was a promise I made to L.that I would back–at least for one more season. Actually my feelings about Florida are mixed (as selfish as that may sound to those facing winter winds, ice and snow!). We started going to Florida eight years ago and it did not take long that first season for me to face two hard realities: 1) L’s health was deteriorating and the best we could hope for was to cling to status quo for as long as possible–there would be no chance for improvement; and 2) going to Florida meant we were done traveling–even for brief weekend getaways close to home. So I am not at all certain how I will feel about being there now. Of course, I understand that I am free to come and go as I please and I am grateful for the wonderful network of friends and family down there. But it’s going to be a new chapter–a new adjustment and I am so very tired of facing new challenges that test my coping skills now that L is gone.

On a more positive front, I stumbled across a wonderful memoir the other day. GRIEVING: A LOVE STORY is Ruth Coughlin’s account of her journey through widowhood. A couple of quotes from the fly leaf illustrate how spot on her observations are:

  • “No one can tell you about grief, about its limitless boundaries, its unfathomable depths….No one can tell you about the crater that is created…the one that nothing can fill.”
  • “There’s no right or wrong to widowhood; nobody’s written the rules….You make them up as you go along.”

Like I said: Spot on!!!

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2 thoughts on “11/1/2012: Another Chapter…

  1. I hope I don’t offend you with this. I’ve read quite a bit of your blog and as I’ve said I enjoyed it. I completely understand what you’ve said and posted in today’s entry. Your relationship with your husband sounds like my relationship with my beloved. I feel certain that L. would want you to go if you feel like it. From what you’ve said it sounds like you have a wonderful community of folks who love you in Florida as well. Also the sunshine would do your soul good. Perhaps it would also help refresh your soul. I also know L. is with you always and that you’ll think of him fondly, as it should be. Are there any things or hobbies you were wanting to do, that maybe were put on hold? If so, perhaps it’s time to explore one or two of those. Above all be good to yourself. Love and prayers your friend, Susan

    1. Of course — no offense. I have enough work to do to take me through 2013, thank goodness–L was VERY pleased about that. I also have a full life in Florida–classes, walks on the beach, the beautiful gardens and of course, friends. I know I will be okay–just have to take those scary steps!! Take care and thanks.

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